21 Scottish Tweets That Are Hysterical But Also Make No Effing Sense

Author image for Meeeeesh
Meeeeesh
Nov 20, 2018 12:00 PM EST

Hey Scots, we Americans love ya and your accents, but we have no frikkin clue what you're saying most of the time.

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  • 01
    Text - Kevin Geddes @Geddes1989 Ever notice in American films n tv shows they turn up at party's with a single 6 pack of beer. Imagine turning up to a house party in this country with 6 beers, you'd get your c kicked in
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  • 02
    Text - Rohan Mckinney @rohanmckinney72 No way did a drunk lassie on the train just tell me she doesn't want wains cos she loves dogs n went "Nae wains great dains"
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  • 03
    Text - Daniel Leonard @Daniel_Leonard Driving home from work the other day n wondered wit it's like to brake with ma left foot. Fair to say al no do that again, nearly put masel through the window. Lesson learned. 10:14 am 15 Jan 18 462 Retweets 2,535 Likes
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  • 04
    Text - KN @96 KevinNelson Nah too far, cancel the holiday, Aarons just hit oot with this What books you taking Like to read at night Ave just unpacked ma bag Am no coming Delivered Message
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  • 05
    Text - Jane Kennedy @LadyJane197 Anyone stuck on the #M80 at Cumbernauld, I have a boot full of irn bru! I'm near the shell petrol station got about 48 cans! Give me a shout if you need a drink! 28/02/2018, 19:18
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  • 06
    Text - FlannyTM @LiamFlannigan1 ing class havinga shower at your F girlfriends. Using stuff like a charcoal facial scrub and a pomegranate & mango shower milk, l've came out the shower smelling like a fresh fruit market on a hot summers day, feeling like a brand new woman. 13/10 would recommend. 20/06/2018, 10:25 pm
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  • 07
    Text - Gary Williamson @gazwilliamson Went inty a cake shop. Boy said all cakes £1. A said can a get that one. He said that's£2 A said £2? He said aye that's Madeira cake
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  • 08
    Text - Jack Graham @JackGraham_x Ma wee sisters using 'get your facts right' patter, well here's a fact, childline out yeh canny un-punch f
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  • 09
    Product - Health in Scotland summed up in one picture. Panic buying for bread and still they won't eat wholemeal.... ET.10 £1. 1L.OS 85P
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  • 10
    Text - jobrien @JosephObrien21 See when u get a parcel delivered n the guy asks u to sign his wee phone thing, Ye could actual draw a ragin boaby on it n he'd still be lit "right mate that's brilliant cheers"
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  • 11
    Text - dan @danniellerennie Hears anyone say the word disgusting* My brain- Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Me - WELL IT WAS F ING ONE OF YAS
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  • 12
    Text - Brogan @broganpaget some junkie just came upto me at the traffic lights and put his arm through my car window and touched my shoulder saying tig'
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  • 13
    Text - Steven Berry @stevenberry93 2 guys in work arguin n the guy n the wheel chair called the guy a lazy bastrd n he said listen tae u uve been sittin on yer arse fr 6 year
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  • 14
    Text - Clo @ChloeBellCamp Just over heard a wee laddie about 13 saying to his pal "am defo grounded when a get hame, took the kitchen door for the bonfire"
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  • 15
    Text - Sean McDonald @seanmcdonald01 No Non Scottish person has ever done a convincing Scottish accent. Never in the history of humanity. An offence that warrants an immediate heider
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  • 16
    Community - Ross Whiteheeeed @rosswhitehead Still canny believe the queen won that marathon, wee lightning mcqueen
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  • 17
    Text - charlie @charliefyfe_ in love bein fae scotland nae other place in the world like it everything about the place is amazin, fae the normal c s tae the junkies everybody knows wit a good laugh is its just wan big country fulla patter 01/05/2018, 21:16
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  • 18
    Text - McQueer @ChrisMcQueer Wee guy pointed at my dug and said to his maw "nice doggy" then pointed at me and went "that's his dad." Technically though, as my dug used to stay with my granny and granda and they referred to themselves as his maw and da, the dug is actually my uncle 22/05/2018, 11:44 481 Retweets 3,020 Likes
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  • 19
    Text - @Ryan_McCran Ffs 7 in 3 days?A eat a full packa jaffa cakes in aboot 3 minutes Ferne McCann@fernemccann 7 chocolate hob nobs in 3 days
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  • 20
    Text - Here such a wired pointless tweet but a "mars bar" has never ever said "mars bar" on it so why do we say "mars bar"? We say "a twix" or "a areo" or "a flake" etc but no one ever says "a mars" a dono but it hurts ma noggin 571 shares Like Comment Share O Debbie Denise Glen and 3.1K others Because the word Mars is associated with the planet and not the chocolate bar. So you have to add the bar to specify what you mean 1 hour ago Like Reply 53 Lee Jamieson So if I ask ma wife to go to the sh
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  • 21
    Text - JY @Yardley_7 Thought the clocks only rolled back an hour, no to the f ing ice age. Baltic 7:48 pm 29 Oct 18
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scottish Scottish twitter twitter wtf scottish slang scotland slang funny tweets english
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